I had a conversation with a friend the other day about change. I had intended only to point out how marriage had “changed” my relationship with Levi and my friend was quick to point out that EVERYTHING in my life had changed: my location, my relationship status, my job, my lifestyle, my look, my personality, my outlook on life, my behaviour, and pretty much everything else that make up the foundations of my life.
She couldn’t be more right. I’ve been turning this around in my head, and yes, physically everything changed.
I once lived in a place that I liked, but wasn’t physically comfortable in. I once was proudly single and devoted to my independence yet still had that yearning for love like everyone does. I once had a job that I was satisfied in, but felt com
placent and stifled in at the same time. I once lived a very different lifestyle, where I was a product of my alarm clock as I struggled to make it in the rat race. I once had to wear blazers and skirts and business shoes, but would always hate covering up my tattoos, or just not getting them for fear of stigma and a true respect for my employer’s and stakeholders’ wishes. I once was high-strung, stressed out, short-tempered, and had a bit of a chip on my shoulder, which affected my outlook on life.
I now live in a place that is good for my health, well-being and fulfills my heart’s need to be in warm climates near the beach and in beautiful, mountainous surroundings. I was fortunate enough to meet my match and someone who has helped me become more me than I’ve ever been and marry him. I now work in a way that puts me first and makes more possible for my life than I ever could have grasped before while getting to work on my own terms, in the areas that I want, with only the people I want to work with. I sleep, rest, and enjoy the hours of my day with the ones I love because I d
o what I love with who I love. My skin has finally become my canvas to show the parts of my life that make me who I am becoming, while celebrating the art that gives me a very comfortable life of privilege. My head is physically cool because I’ve been able to shave off half my hair without needing to keep some sort of “business façade” in my hairstyle. I’ve learned the beauty of “tranquilo” and “pura vida” and living life in calmness and how much stress, worry and overthinking things burdens a life.
Have things changed? Absolutely. More changes have happened in the last year than over the whole other 33 other years before it.
Have I changed? Not one bit. I’ve been this woman all along. I just needed to do a bit of work to find her.